And

And

Does it make me any better?

Gazing out from behind dark glasses

Watching as the aging lothario

With the five-o-clock thirst,

Yesterday’s transgressions

Hanging over his beltless shorts

Trying to stand tall in flip flops,

Ogles the passing beauty.

She is all legs and spray tan

Talking on the phone

To her friend about yesterday

When it was ‘like’ so cool

To be ‘like’ so ‘over it’ when the bottom

Dropped out of the Pilates craze

It was ‘so last year’

She had finished with yoga

‘My mother goes now”

And was going to an art class

It was ‘like’ hard to listen to the instructor

And splash on the paint

But after the third Chardonnay it seemed

Everything got a lot easier

Acrylics were such a happy medium.

The guy was drooling

When did wearing a mullet

Ever become a thing?

Is it postmodern-irony or a straight-faced

Statement haircut

He almost fell over

Forgetting to move his feet

In time with his body

As his eyes followed the lady

A Warner Bros cartoon

I wondered if he ever spotted the pea

Under the cup

If he ever concentrated as hard on

Original thought

He could crack cold fusion

But I was being cruel

Hiding behind the polaroids

Does it excuse me

Because I noted the interaction?

Telling myself it was a useful distraction

Worthy of future consideration

As a piece of writing

It is my guess this makes me a culture snob

Or is it a knob…

Perhaps it is both

And he reads Homer before bedtime

Gets out of the pool to pee

Even forgets to masturbate in the shower

From time to time.

It is a sad thing when cro-magnon man

Is still alive and well

In the twenty-first century

Although maybe he is as at-ease with himself

As Jessica Rabbit

Perhaps the pretentiousness of

A sophisticated outlook

Is as shallow as a grave

Uncovered in a rainstorm

A drain of natural resources

Leaves me with no choice

But to drink my double espresso

With skimmed-milk on the side

And move on

Unable to leave a tip

As I never carry cash.