Barnet Fair…hair.

Barnet Fair…hair.

If I could work

For the next one thousand years

I would never earn as much

As a billionaire farts

Out on a haircut

When a stylist is flown in

On a private jet

From London

Because they don’t have

A demon barber

In New York.

When everybody knows they do

And with or without sleep

They know their way around a barnet.

The personal chef

Flies out separately

As he has an airline food intolerance.

So much climatic impact

For these entitled essentials.

“Offset my carbon.”

The elitist demands

“Put aside my peccadillos

When I contribute so much

To the betterment

Of mankind.

I am worth more than a small nation

Surely that affords me

A little luxury

A bit of leeway

From picking up my share

Of the tab

When my balance of payments

Deficit

Is propping up the World Bank.”

How different life would be

With wealth redistribution.

The one per cent removed

From their position

Atop the pile

Looking down on the rest of us

Breathing their own

Rarified atmosphere

99 per cent germ-free.

Of course,

As it is they and not us

Who are the one per cent

But it is we

Who are still chump

Enough to pay the bill.