Before emancipation

Before emancipation

Was forced upon men

When equality was an ideal

Nobody lived up to

Prejudice was a badge of honour

Diversity was having a choice

Of which tie to wear

To the gentleman's club

Marriage was a rite of passage

With gendered roles

Strict etiquette

Demanding unequal distribution

Of wealth

Stripping women of independence

And opportunity,

Women were described

As changeable.

Their outlook, affected by the moon,

Motherhood

The menstrual cycle.

Hormonal age-related moods

Hysterical reactions

Determining their inherent instability.

While men were stable.

If they were bad they were bad

A good guy

Was a good guy,

You knew where you were with him.

A shifty man

Had a tell,

It was in his eyes

Weak men grew a beard.

To hide their indiscretions

They wore a black hat

Carried a cane.

They would obfuscate

Lies were dipped in honey

Dripping off the tongue

With such sweetness

Other men would gag.

Whilst some women would

See through the smoke

In their pockets

Others would suck it up.

After the partiality

Of emancipation

Some men’s opinions

Remain unchanged.

They often sit alone on a stool

At the end of a bar

Nursing a pint

A comb-over

And a sore head.

His tie is stained with gravy

And too bright for the jacket

Which rarely matches the pants

The sprinkle of dandruff on the collar

Is as thick as the winter’s snow

But he is a catch

A dish, the real deal

Who could rock the world

To its very foundations

At a pinch.

If only his wife

Would allow him back home

He would take paternity leave

Share the cooking

Hyphenate their name

And open a joint account

With equal access to funds

Well,

That might be pushing it.

Almost

Certainly

Inherently so.