There was a time

There was a time

When a word here,

A look there,

Would have meant the world

But even landscapes change

In time.

There is nothing to keep me now,

Unencumbered by expectation

Reading the lines on a gravestone

Sitting on the grass in the rain

Drinking straight from the bottle

After midnight

When the light from a fridge

Is as cold as the north wind

On Dartmoor

In the deep of December.

Looking for oblivion

Taking a deep dive into night

The scrape of willow

On the window

Is as irritating as it gets

When the mind has wandered

Further than its extension

And the lay of words on paper

Is no more than a ruffle of feathers

To a night bird

Drunk on self-delusion.

How will it feel

To be free of a protestant work ethic

Catholic guilt,

The driving force

Of so many unhappy providers.

Lift me up

To thine loving cup,

Would that I could taste the nectar

It most surely holds,

Always a promise but never a reality.

Brush away the crumbs of desire

Left in mockery of what once was

A glimpse of the divine.

Take the hope,

It is a monster

Tear it into shreds

Disperse it evenly

On the waters of tranquillity,

If they can be found.

I gave up the search

So many years ago

When the bloom of youth

Was still forthcoming

And tomorrow was so very far away.

Spread the ashes

Compost the remains

Scatter the thoughts so easily

The air is full of space

Enough to fill the Albert Hall

With blind faith

And chocolate teapots.

Tip a wink to a stranger,

They might remember

What the world was like

Before the landscape changed

And sucking in my stomach

Ceased to be important.