I know I should

I know I should

We all should, but it doesn’t happen

Good things come and go.

Half the time

Is spent rueing what we

Never had

Forgetting the laughter

The tumble on a pallet

Of vulcanised rubber

As a snot-nose

Apprentice.

Dreaming of the future,

Believing it was attainable

No matter how far-fetched

The idea.

Stinking drunk

After an all-nighter

Playing the blues

In a Soho club

Low on class

High on adrenaline

And second-hand smoke

Watching as a stranger

Throws it away

For the brief, euphoric stab

Of a needle point.

Too many have gone

That way

For me to be flippant

Loss is another four-letter word

With heft.

There is still some juice left.

In the tank

I am getting the most

From the last few drops.

Pleasure is more painful

To endure

When it comes with

Excess baggage

Nobody tells you this.

Maybe they do

I didn’t hear it

For the noise of self

Deprecation.

When does it change

Does it ever

When will I call a halt

Look back

And realise

I had it all

More than my share

If only I had seen it

At the time

I would have enjoyed it more.

We all would, I guess

Life is an education

If there is a lesson to be learned

Learn it well

If you graduate

Hold on.