December 25, 2021Missive

I looked at the door

lossnaturecitymemorytimelove

I looked at the door

Solid, plain, pragmatic

It was a self-contained flat

Above a motorcycle shop

On Forest Road

A stones throw from the ponds

At Wanstead

I stood outside, in the cold

At the top of the iron stairs

For the longest time

Wondering whether to knock

Or not

It had been her mother’s idea

She worked for me

And I needed a partner

For the staff Christmas party

She said her daughter had seen me

Many times when she came into the store

And liked what she saw

Although I barely remembered

But I wasn’t really on the lookout

For a relationship

A man on his own with children

Doesn’t really have the time

Or inclination for a potential

Assignation

Neither was I desperate

But going alone would be tough

Just walking in accompanied

Would be enough

To break the ice

I gave a knock

Tentative, half-hearted

The door opened before

I could change my mind

Drink in hand

She admitted to waiting

On the other side

The sound of the car

The noise of my feet

As clear as a bell

Cast at Whitechapel

For the church at

St Mary’s-by-Bow

She was flushed

Nervous I guess

Perhaps she was as anxious as I

Which may have influenced

Her fumbled attempt

At a kiss

Hot hands around my neck

Pulling me close

I was taken by surprise

Saw a wild look on her eyes

And backed off a little

At her being so previous

Asked if we should just get on our way

Truth to tell I was shaken

The night not yet begun

My thoughts already turning

To an escape clause

I needn’t have worried

She was already half-gone

Fell asleep on a seat

After only one madcap dance

With no chance

Of any kind of first date romance

I carried her back up the steep stairs

Laid her to bed

Put another pillow under her head

To stave off the potential

For choking

The flat had a smell of burned oil

And years of roll your own smoking

I closed the door and didn’t look back

But under different circumstances

I did

In just a couple of years

When I took my kids to see their mother

And found

By some weird coincidence

Or happenstance

The new flat she had moved into

Was the very same one as the strange young thing

And then gently tucked up

In her own bed

Dead to the world

Before going home alone

To sink a very large scotch

My duty done

Both reputations still intact

It was all I could do

Not to tell my ex-wife the whole story

But we were no longer

That kind of sharing couple

So I took it away

To come back to another day

When the air was less frosty