I ran aground on a traffic island

I ran aground on a traffic island

Just another passenger

The driver said he was as sober as a judge

Who knew they were all on the sauce

I was a pirate from Penzance

Watching from Plymouth Sound as the boats sailed out

America will change the world

Shouted the Pilgrims

Legions of people waving them off

Happy to watch an armada

Full of religious extremists

Disappearing into the distance

Nobody knew what trouble they’d seen

But the band played on

Every day’s a holiday with Mary

She was not my mother

But she had a way with children

Even as they grew up in a new world

Nothing really changed

Their founding fathers

Were just privileged white folk

Stealing in the name of god

There is too much noise

When did all the traffic stop

When cars don’t move they are just tin cans

Without the promise

Of a juicy treat

England is a roadmap

A car park a stopover

On the way to redemption

After cross-border checks have been completed,

It is easier to carry a gun in Texas

Than to export lamb to Calais

When did America let us down

All the bluff and bluster

Of a Hollywood movie

Left to rust in a rom-com

For the criminally insane

Feed me a line

The land of the free has a price to pay

For playing fast and loose with democracy

Sail off in a tall ship

In search of a religious conversion

Pay it back instead of forward

There is no fool like a passionate believer

Who went in search of paradise

And lost it all in a Vegas lounge bar

Or down the back of a lazy-boy

Along with a six-pack

A box of shells

And a Peacemaker

Now, throw me a lifeline

I need to get off this island

It is a political minefield.