There is nothing worse
There is nothing worse
Than warm champagne
A broken fingernail
A flat tyre in a rainstorm
No signal for the phone
Wet through
With no change of clothes
Falling in the mud
Sump oil
On a new dress
Late for a date
With your first love
Running out of mints
Before the kiss
Breaking wind
In a lift
Full of strangers
Laughing at a funeral
Finding you have attended
The wrong service
Arriving one day late
For an interview
Having a bad hair day
Seagull droppings
On a bride groom’s shoulder
Losing the ring
At the altar
Being left all alone
By a no show
It is no joke
When it happens to other folk
There is always something worse
Waiting in the wings
Hidden between the lines
Which make up a verse.
A cockroach in the larder
A snakeskin in a shoe
No whisky in the kitchen
Or paper in the loo
It is catastrophic
To be so neurotic
About oral hygiene
The day is lost
Without dental floss
But there is nothing worse
Than a cold sore
On your lip
Or Coronavirus
On a ship.