Sometimes it is better

Sometimes it is better

To keep your mouth shut

To say nothing

Keep your council

To stay schtum

Sometimes people don’t want to be told

Black is white

What is what.

Pointing out the obvious

Is a sure-fire way to rattle a cage

You can end up on the street, friendless

Just because you told it as you saw it

A mouthful of broken teeth

After an introduction to a bunch of five’s

From an altercation with a guy in a bar

Who took exception to your anti-war rhetoric.

How were you to know he was a veteran

Of the foreign affairs committee

Being anti-Brexit

Pro-immigration

And as mouthy as a basking shark

Floating in a sea of plankton

Is an easy way to bring out the worst

In people.

Two days out on the moors

In a pea-souper

After being run out of a pub

In Aldershot

Has a way of focusing the mind.

Who took me home to meet her parents,

Her dad was a sleeping policeman.

When I tripped over his feet he woke up

The ball was over

He called me a hippie

Put me in a coma

Tossed me into a ditch full of water

Waited until I came up for air

Told me not to come back.

I didn’t need a second invitation

To this day

I can’t see what I did was all that wrong

The laughing policeman was a classic

When I was a kid

Perhaps it was the reference to Noddy

I threw at him

As he kicked me into touch.

When did all the humour dry out

Of the British Bobby.