The psychologist
The psychologist
There was a time
When I spoke to people
Even standing at the bar
Made eye contact
Smiled a little, said ‘Hi’
Tried to be friendly
It worked for a while
I could keep people talking
With a nod here, a ‘that sounds interesting’
There
Sometimes if it was a guy
We could go a round each
Unlike me, the
Women always looked better
After a second drink
The smiles wider
The teeth whiter
I looked out for the pale line of the wedding band
So many sad stories
It was a bit like being at work
Everything went well
Until they asked what I did
After all, they had shared all of their details
The office letch, the boss who blocked
A promotion unless sex was part of the package
The guy with marital problems
Who thought it was a good idea
To go home after a skinful
In tears and hope his wife
Would take pity
Put him to bed
Perhaps get in with him
It hadn’t happened yet
But he was still trying to be positive
Looking on the bright side
‘Just one more drink before I go’
I was always slow to say what I did
But some people were persistent
After a third drink
They considered themselves a good judge
Of character
And tried to guess
Why did women think I was an obstetrician
And the guys a city trader
I obfuscated
Maybe I could say I was a writer
But I have made no money out of that
I ran with it for a while
Until the rope tightened
There is only so far you can run
From the truth
And I whisper
My professional title
It seems like the weather changes
The room goes cold
Shivers pass over frightened faces
Eyes slide away into the distance
They mouth
A perfectly formed ‘O’
Before their heads turn from side to side
Calculating an escape protocol
Sometimes they ask if I can read minds
‘And here I am telling you all of my secrets’
It doesn’t take long for the quarantine
To come into effect
Pretty soon I am an island
I have tried different bars
I told people I was an unemployed food-taster
My taste buds were all shot
From too much chilli
It wasn’t a good cover story
When all I ate came out of a packet
Or a bottle
I guess that’s why I stopped going out
If I am going to drink alone
I might as well stay home.