The public bar

The public bar

If I gaze too long

Looking down into the glaze on the table

Walnutty with smokey flecks

Ring stains from whisky glasses

That could have been mine

Wishing time away

Hoping the sounds I try to drown

Are not the screams of witches

Going down for want of a sensible hearing

Dunked like a digestive

Damned if you do

Damned if you don’t

Warlocks counting cards

Werewolves of London cavorting

Nina Simone playing magic piano

Filling a space in my head

Nothing about the world makes sense

If you turn away

There is still no breaking the spell

This table has seen too much change

Just like the walls

Everything that ever happened inside

Seeping into the plaster

Through the drywall infecting the frame

It pulses with the memory

Of other times

Even as my ears are closed, eyes clamped shut

There is another intrusion

It is impossible to focus too far ahead

The tabletop too darkly shaded

To bring comfort

When viewed so closely

Fingerprints are never latent

There is always intent

Even when the reasons are unclear

Hold me steady

Small fluctuations in balance

Can be catastrophic

When white noise assumes a melody,

There is a coldness in varnish

Irregularities in its reflection

Distorting the truth,

Even more than it was

Before the weight of indifference

I have experienced

Drove my head down and the sound of life

Became overwhelming

Deafness is not to be recommended

As an escape

From a community of souls

Equally afraid to lose what is familiar

Hand me a glass

Fill it to the brim

Let me raise myself once again

In salutation

A call to arms for better times

Anything is better than the smell

Of stale beer, yacht varnish and sticky fingers.