There was too much danger in standing still

There was too much danger in standing still

People get killed that way.

In the shower, we would laugh,

Do crazy stuff

Covered in soap

I fell the other day

I was always worried she would,

Without me.

Without her

Everything is a chore

Showering should be fun.

The noise of the water

As it drains away

Unloved

Takes so much joy out of bathing

Even though I turn the heat right up

Scalding

I feel myself melting

A golem

Barely aware.

Bits come off and are swept away

Skin is temporary

The shape of things.

The way light bends

Is extraordinary

Even in darkness

There is magic

To be kept at bay.

The walls carry so much weight

On their shoulders

Without complaint

Just a few squeaks and creaks

As they settle in for the night.

Do they tire

Of holding on to their stories

Waiting for permission to speak

Keeping their ears open

For something juicy

To shake them up

To bring the house down.

For a moment

I am lost in the sound of trees

On the breeze,

The gentle sway.

They have a natural rhythm

Which swings like an old-time

Jazz band

Glenn Miller or The Duke

Not as eclectic as Miles Davis

Who was so smooth he could swivel

Every which way

To find a tune

And still, be cool,

But a homely sound

Soothing in its lack of reverence.

Nevertheless,

One day it will become

An accompaniment

To something other.

Perhaps I will find her

In the music.

Even as I rinse the soap from my skin

A little more of me is

Dissolved

And I wonder if

When I stop pretending

Not to care about appearances

And opinions

I will transform

Into something more substantial.