When there were shipyards

When there were shipyards

Old cities built

On manufacturing

Flat caps were a symbol

Of brotherhood

They were doffed

To toffs

Flung into the air

When your team scored

A winner at the Cup Final.

The middle class

Threw their motor board

Upon graduation

I rented mine

And couldn't afford to lose

The deposit.

My uncle Jim

Lost his hair when he was young

He wore his cap indoors

At the dinner table

Watching television

On the loo

He may have worn it to bed

But I have no knowledge

Of that.

His son

My cousin Jim

Was a mighty fine chap

And wore his cap

With more elan

He had a Phd

In good character

Ran a shipyard and loved a pint.

Flat caps are fashionable

Again

Worn by celebrities

Too uptight to throw them

Too afraid to act

Like retro-humans

Unless it’s a look

They endorse

In touch with

Their roots

Down to their boots,

In pre-stressed

Pitman’s leather,

And a pair

Of elasticated spats