Hold on to the post

Hold on to the post

Watch as the world spins

Wonder at the mystery

Of creatures standing upright

As the ground tilts

The bus is a monster

Spitting out people

Carrying them away

Double-decker homicide

Stomach upheaval

Alcohol is evil...

Exactly how did I get home

Somebody must have

Helped me to walk back

From the bus stop

I must have known who they were

But it is all very hazy now

Oops there you go

Up chuck

Into the toilet bowl

Better out than in

When did I eat a kebab

So sorry mum

It will never happen again

With the guys

Was there an accident

Have I died

Turned eighteen

With a bullet

There is something awful

Stuck in my gullet

A night out became a pub crawl

Nothing too crazy after all

I was okay

Until my legs gave way

When I went to hang up my coat

Oh god! It’s curried goat

What was I thinking

What was I drinking

This is complete insanity

No time for senseless vanity

Sprawled out on the floor

Wedged between

The toilet and the door

It has never happened before

And I don’t need to explain

That there is no chance

This side of hell

Of it ever

Happening again...

He said.