The guy next to me

The guy next to me

Whispered, ‘The woman

At the table in the corner

is giving you the eye.’

She was visible through the mirror

It was horrifying

She was so old

‘Bout your age’ he said

I couldn’t believe it

Until he showed me a video

He had taken

Of a stick-skinny old guy making a pratfall

After too much gravy

‘Who is that freak?’

‘It’s you.’

‘Naw.

You must be crazy.’

‘Nope.

Took this myself,

Posted it on social media.

It went viral.’

I was at a loss for words

Too many bones

Not enough skin

“Man,” I said

Eventually.

‘You know how to bust my balls.’

{Not really.

I don’t use that kind of language

But when it comes to spinning a yarn

Old guys with a high opinion

Of themselves

Take some beating.)

He did say

‘You should be thankful.’

I asked why.

He replied

‘She must see something in you

Worth the time of day,

I can’t see it myself.’

‘Well. maybe I should get a wriggle on

Before we both forget what time of day it is

And we pass each other

Coming back

On the down side.’