The luxury apartment block

The luxury apartment block

The hall was as hot and humid

As a Turkish bath

Or a steam room in Soho

Where cadaverous men

Fully paunched with whisky veins

Snaking over bulbous noses

Float through the clouds

Hang around in dark corners like vampires

Waiting to exsanguinate the unwary

Fumbling for keys

Barely aware, so keen to enter

Their own cool lair

Pumped full of frigid air

Why are hallways always

Dangerous places

Too many movies watched in isolation

Only a miniature poodle

To keep the wolf from the door

Barking at shadows

Mrs Barlow feeds her labradoodle

Fillet steak

It is all he will eat

Wears little booties on his feet

And a coat over his own curly top

Such is the love given to him

For the sake of his commitment

To her

A one-woman dog

The apartments are well-appointed

Air-conditioned oases

Pumping heat out into the street

As well as the hall

Mr Smith is an environmentalist

Wears a coat in winter

A singlet in summer

His flat is the same inside as out

He spends a lot of time

Buttering up Mrs Barlow

He likes fillet steak

A cool hand on his brow

Without feeling the least bit guilty

The dog doesn’t much like him

Worries his feet

Nibbles his toes

Got a scratch on his nose

When the sneaky old goat

Caught him with the back of his hand

He still wore his wedding band

Even though his wife had moved out

To live with a judo instructor

Who took her to Barbados

Where they lay together

Sise by side

On massage tables

Wearing nothing but

Beatific smiles and a slice of cucumber

Over their eyes

It is no surprise to learn

She will not be back

Mr Smith is left stricken

Floundering between

Grandiosity

And penny-pinching

Mrs Barlow likes him a little

Although she is not totally smitten

Preferring her dog

He sleeps with his head

On her lap

He might be small

But he is a very clever little chap.